aracas, October 27, 2025, Venezuela has once again taken center stage in the global telenovela of geopolitics, announcing that it has captured a band of alleged CIA-linked mercenaries, the latest episode in its long-running series, The Empire Strikes (Out) Again.
According to Vice President Delcy Rodríguez, this daring arrest exposes an elaborate U.S. “false flag operation” allegedly scripted somewhere between the Caribbean Sea and Washington’s imagination. The grand plan, Caracas claims, was to stage an incident dramatic enough to justify a good old-fashioned American intervention because, really, what’s foreign policy without fireworks?
Meanwhile, the U.S. Navy’s USS Gravely has been quietly parked in Trinidad and Tobago, like a houseguest who insists they’re “just visiting” but keeps unpacking new military hardware.
The Plot Thickens (and So Does the Irony)
The Venezuelan government insists the alleged agents were part of a scheme to ignite a “full-scale military confrontation” — because apparently, nothing says “regional stability” like covert operations in tropical waters.
Details on the arrests remain vague. No names, photos, or even mugshots just the promise that the truth is out there, somewhere between Caracas and cable news.
Caracas also took the opportunity to accuse neighboring Trinidad and Tobago of playing Washington’s loyal sidekick. Prime Minister Kamla Persad-Bissessar, the statement declared, has “renounced sovereignty” in favor of becoming a “military colony.” (Diplomatic translation: “We’re not mad, we’re just disappointed.”)
The Venezuelan release lamented that the Caribbean historically a Zone of Peace is now being transformed into a Zone of Please Don’t Park Your Destroyer Here.
A Familiar Tune from the Record Collection
For those keeping score, Caracas compared the alleged U.S. plot to the “classics”: the USS Maine explosion (1898) and the Gulf of Tonkin incident (1964). Both, conveniently, preceded major U.S. wars. “History doesn’t repeat itself,” Venezuela seemed to suggest, “it just gets better Wi-Fi.”
Washington, of course, has not commented on the supposed arrests, probably because even the CIA’s press office can’t keep a straight face every time Caracas announces a new “imperialist conspiracy.”
The Trump Doctrine: More Ships, Fewer Subtleties
Over in Washington, the administration has been doubling down on what it calls “anti-narcotrafficking operations,” a term that conveniently covers a naval buildup of roughly 10,000 troops, 10 warships, a submarine, and the world’s largest aircraft carrier all in a region famous for its beaches, not its battlefields.
When asked about potential ground incursions, Trump, ever the showman, told reporters: “We’ve got the sea under control. Now we’ll stop it by land.” A phrase that sounds suspiciously like the tagline of a summer blockbuster that should’ve gone straight to streaming.
Caracas: “Don’t Try Us, We’re the Heirs of Bolívar and Chávez”
In its closing statement, Caracas vowed to remain “alert and mobilized in perfect civil-military-police unity” which, translated from revolutionary dialect, means: “We’re watching you, but also each other.”
The declaration ended on a poetic note, promising to defend the nation’s sovereignty against “foreign enemies and their vassals.” The statement did not clarify whether “vassals” referred to actual governments or simply any country that buys American-made radar systems.
Meanwhile, in the Caribbean...
Regional leaders are reportedly watching the drama unfold with the same mixture of fascination and fatigue usually reserved for reality TV reunions. “We just wanted to talk about tourism,” one Caribbean diplomat muttered, “and suddenly we’re in the middle of Top Gun: Caribbean Drift.”
As of this writing, no mercenaries have been shown, no evidence has been released, and no one seems entirely sure whether this was a spy saga, a PR stunt, or the world’s most expensive misunderstanding.
But in the theater of modern geopolitics, it’s clear everyone’s auditioning for a leading role.
.png)
