Madonna Reflects on Her “Most Painful” Moments and Mental Health Struggles
Madonna, one of the world’s most iconic and enduring performers, is opening up like never before. In her first-ever podcast appearance on Jay Shetty’s On Purpose, the seven-time Grammy-winning artist shared an intimate look at one of the darkest periods of her life — a time when she contemplated suicide during a bitter custody battle over her son, Rocco Ritchie.
Now 67 years old, the Queen of Pop reflected candidly on how the experience left her emotionally devastated. “There were moments in my life I wanted to cut my arms off… I actually contemplated suicide,” Madonna admitted. “I would say probably one of the most painful moments in my life where I honestly couldn’t see the forest for the trees was when I went through a custody battle with my son.”
Although Madonna’s marriage to acclaimed filmmaker Guy Ritchie ended in 2008, their relationship reached another breaking point in 2015 when their then-15-year-old son, Rocco, abruptly left her Rebel Heart tour to stay with his father in London. The legal tug-of-war between the two parents quickly escalated, resulting in a highly publicized custody battle that stretched on for months and left the superstar emotionally raw.
“Even though my marriage didn’t work out — I mean, a lot of people’s marriages don’t work out. They marry the wrong people. They’re not aligned. They’re not meant for each other,” she explained during the interview. “Someone trying to take my child away from me was like, they might as well just kill me.”
At the time, Madonna was still touring extensively, performing on stage night after night while privately falling apart backstage. “I was on tour at the time, so I had to go on stage every night,” she said. “I would just be lying on the floor of my dressing room sobbing. I really thought it was the end of the world. I couldn’t take it. I just couldn’t take it.”
The custody battle officially began in December 2015 and eventually concluded in June 2016, when the two parties reached a settlement allowing Rocco to return to New York. Despite the turmoil, Madonna has since repaired her relationship with her son. “But thank God I don’t feel that way anymore… I’m happy to say that I’m really good friends with my son but I couldn’t see it then. I really thought it was the end of the world. So, you know, thank God I had a spiritual life,” she shared.
Indeed, Rocco was spotted celebrating Madonna’s birthday over the summer in Europe, and the singer also posted a heartfelt tribute to him on Instagram in August for his 25th birthday. Today, their relationship appears stronger than ever — a testament to Madonna’s resilience and commitment to her family.
Madonna’s revelations highlight not only her own struggles but also the broader issues surrounding parental custody battles and mental health. Despite being one of the most famous and powerful women in the world, she was still deeply vulnerable to the emotional toll of losing access to her child. Her honesty underscores that fame and success offer no immunity from pain, grief, or depression.
The “Like a Prayer” singer also expressed gratitude for the support systems that helped her endure that dark chapter in her life. “Thank God I had a spiritual life,” she said, emphasizing how her faith and inner work helped her move forward when everything felt hopeless.
Madonna and Guy Ritchie were married for eight years before divorcing in 2008. Their custody dispute over Rocco made global headlines in 2015–2016 as the couple fought in both U.K. and U.S. courts. During that time, Madonna was also raising her other children: Lourdes Leon, now 28, with Carlos Leon, and her adopted children David, 20, Mercy, 19, and twins Stella and Estere, 13.
Today, Madonna’s openness about her mental health struggles arrives at an important cultural moment. High-profile figures speaking candidly about depression, suicidal ideation, and emotional pain can help reduce stigma and encourage others to seek help. Her words also serve as a reminder that no one is immune to hardship — and that healing and reconciliation are possible even after the most painful experiences.
It has been nearly a decade since Madonna’s custody battle with Ritchie, and she has since continued to thrive artistically while building a closer relationship with all of her children. As she told Jay Shetty, she can now look back on that chapter with gratitude for the lessons it taught her and relief that she came out stronger on the other side.
For those currently struggling, Madonna’s story carries an important message of hope: Even the darkest moments eventually pass, and support — whether spiritual, personal, or professional — can make a life-saving difference.
If you or someone you know is experiencing thoughts of self-harm or suicide, help is available. In the United States, you can call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255, which offers free and confidential support 24/7.
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